Jaydan’s story

Daryl has two children: Jaydan (11) and Teddie (7).

The family currently lives with Daryl’s mum in her three-bedroom house with a small garden. Daryl has been there for two years, after his relationship with Jaydan and Teddie’s mum ended.

Jaydan and Teddie used to live with their mum, but in Christmas 2019 they moved to live with their dad. They still see their mum at weekends. Two of Daryl’s siblings also live in the house, along with a dog and a cat.

Daryl has lived in Lambeth all his life. He likes the area and how close by his children’s schools are, but has recently been aware of increasing reports of drugs, gangs and stabbings.

Following a suggestion from the Jobcentre, Daryl recently went through an assessment of his own and was diagnosed with ADHD, autism, dyspraxia and dyslexia.

In the past couple of years, the family has experienced several difficulties. Daryl had a stroke in 2019 and had to stop working as a bouncer.

In late 2019, the children’s mum was abusing drugs and alcohol, and inviting people to the house to join her drinking when the children were around. Daryl also described an incident where his ex-partner called the police making “fake accusations”, and his children witnessed him being arrested.

Daryl describes how the behavioural issues started around this time, particularly for Jaydan. He started pushing boundaries, became more argumentative and had regular tantrums.

Daryl decided the children should live with him after their mum had left them at her friend’s house to go drinking with her friends. He was adamant that he wants to be able to give them the chance to be away from drinks and drugs, and to “not see that life”.

According to Jaydan and Teddie’s grandmother, Karen, Jaydan started to behave in a more aggressive way when he was around 4-5 years old. She agrees that his behaviour has worsened since late 2019. Karen has taken care of Jaydan since he was little. She saw similar signs in Jaydan that she had seen in her other son, Daryl’s brother, who has an ADHD diagnosis.

More recently, the children’s great-grandmother and Daryl’s cousin both passed away – as did their family dog of 15 years, which has been traumatic for the children.

Daryl never saw himself being a full-time single dad, and it has come with its challenges. The rude language, the fighting and screaming at home, dealing with the children’s school and simultaneously looking for employment have all been hard on him. The house can feel crammed when everyone’s at home, so Daryl is currently looking for a new place.

Jaydan has had issues at school where he has been bullied and blamed for a lot of things in class. Daryl has had to fight hard to convince the school that Jaydan needed support for behavioural issues and wasn’t just a naughty kid. The bullying has now stopped, and Jaydan is dealing with his friendships better after going on the ADHD medication.

Jaydan and Teddie still see their mum, but talk about not liking the visitors that come to her house.

Since the children have been living with Daryl, Jaydan has received support at the Mary Sheridan Centre.

Following some of the issues Jaydan had been experiencing at school, Jaydan now has a mentor, attends weekly group sessions with children who have similar needs, and has access to a teaching assistant. He also has a teacher he gets along well with, who supports him to get on with his schoolwork out of class when he has been punished, so he doesn’t miss out on learning. Daryl is trying to get an EHCP in place so Jaydan can have appropriate help when he gets to secondary school.

Daryl currently attends two parenting courses that focus on supporting children with similar behaviours to Jaydan.

Daryl has a close-knit family, from whom he gets a lot of support with Jaydan and Teddie. Jaydan is particularly close to his grandmother, and Teddie is very close to his aunt. Daryl’s family has been there for him and his children since the children were little.

The family enjoy spending time in their local park which Daryl describes as helping to “give everybody a break”. They also like getting out of London to visit family members – Daryl has a sister who lives in Folkestone, and who they are hoping to visit this summer.